I. flamenco fever
1. room-sharing
Portland, U.S.A July, 2001 ,
Hello, Jh;
How are you doing?
This is Gohk.
Saving trouble, I hasten to inform you that I am okay, doing well here in a city named Portland on the Pacific coast, which lies 3 hours or so by Greyhound south of Seatle.
Probably strange things will happen in strange places! Now in the downtown of this city I enjoy a heart-beating experience of room-sharing you would not believe as real. It would probably be no way in Korean society. Could you believe me if I whisper a hint to you that I am getting along in a small studio, the living room of which is divided into halves by a movable curtain, together with a German young lady named Thani in her twenties .
Well, a strange affair is now taking place here! Since last May, in so small a studio originally for a single person or newlyweds, I have shared the room of in it together with her. As for the room, it is divided by the partition wall of texture set in the center of the room. The other part of it is Thani’s space and this one for me is convertible, as occasion demands, to my sleeping room for the night or to a shared living space for the day time. We share a bath and a toilet by the doorway and also the telephone at the kitchen. This space is now where I stay.
Yes, I am greeting nights in such a queer situation, some curious and some exciting. This luxury is given to me as a rarely good luck for the first time since I wandered from hostels to hostels in Vancouver and Seattle, where in most cases no less than ten people stay in a single large room. It might be not easy to picture in your mind an actual situation where a reckless friend of yours has stayed.
It was very confusing for the first few days. In the dark night pricking my ears up, I could sense a delicate movement in the opposite space. One night I could not sleep with the faint sound of rustle that brought about an image of her undressing in my mind. That was not a trifle. Because of it the next day I couldn’'t do well at my job, exhausted and asleep. To tell the truth, I have worked for a hotel here as a part time housekeeper.
There is another confusing case I had to face with. It is when my blue-eyed roommate is wanted on the phone. In such case, I hurriedly open the door to inform her of it unconsciously without knocking. Then she gets very angry for it, eyeing me with some contempt. It means that it is a common sense that you should not open the door without permission. one day I did it inspite of myself waiting no permission from inside, as she was wanted on the phone. Of course she got angry at me, and I could not but apolozige for such a mistake. This time I felt mistreated. For at the moment I opened the door and push my head in, wondering in anxiety whether she might be ill in bed. So I did it hurriedly not waiting for her answer.
Once I had to suffer her bitter insult owing to the smelling of garlic. one night I enjoyed a Korean traditional dish of baked pork thickly flavored with garlic over liquors in a snack bar with a Korean acquaintance. Then the next day at around noon when I barely woke up, she urged me to open all the windows, shouting that the studio was filled with offensive smell of garlic. I could not but be forced to get up and open windows one by one. Well, it was true that I was enough happy in the previous night with the dish with garlic to my taste.
A moment I felt insulted by her unexpectedly strong reproach. Nevertheless, I could not but mummer a faint anger only in the mouth. That was all. Frankly speaking, such offensiveness in her manner is to me just a trifling thing compared with her refreshing attractivenesses.
By the way, one day late at night she came in, and only exchanging looks entered her room without saying a word .She seemed completely tired and worn out. Next day I was worried by the deep silence in her room. Though she was sure to be in, she made no indication of her presence. So I knocked to open the door, entered her room, not waiting for the answer from inside. And I came to catch what condition she was in. A couple of hours later I quietly entered again and put on the desk a plateful of blackberries that she loves. Then still in bed, she said toward me surprisingly in the tender and friendly voice, that she appreciated my concern and needed to sleep more.
That night was a wonderful moment. It was the first time for her to step inside my room and gave me a ticket for the musical ‘Aida,’ saying that she didn’t have time to go to theatre. At that night we shared warm talks in the kitchen. From then on, we came to feel closer to each other, and the atmosphere of our studio turned soft and warm.
Now I came to know a trivial thing that earlier she had shared the studio with a girl student from Finland in love of Klimt. There is a copy of of a painting of the painter’s, ‘Die Erfullung’ now hanging on the wall. She said that the copy painting was presented by her Finnish friend.
One time my room sharer laughed out when I said to her that living together with her like this is such a big thing for me as a married man (since my wife is there in Korea), adding that in Koea this would be easily regarded as a accident of immorality. She said that there is no problem of sharing a room with anybody in orer to save money. However, she said, her case is a little bit special, because it is not common for a woman student in her twenties to share the room with an old man like me in the fifties.
I came to understyand a situation that Thani, as a self-supporting student, has been earning money for her education and living through such a part time labor as is unbearable even for men. And I realized, too, that in particular the next day after she did her job as a part-time painter, It was hardly possible for her to get up for the entire day time. That was another beautiful aspect of hers. She already made me look shabby with her fluent English. What a beautiful and proud soul she is! Anyway we came to get closer to each other since then.
From then on whenever she did not wake up as usual in the morning, I would get ready for her breakfast, thinking that she was exhausted due to her previous day’s job. I even washed her dishes. Sometimes we stayed together in her room, conversing to each other about art and music. Furthermore she let me listen to flamenco cante in the albums of flamenco singers since she knew that I am deeply interested in flamenco.
Ocasionally according to my request, she dances flamenco with no hesitation in this small place. once her dancing let me have a delusion that there suddenly appeared the girl living in a legend, who was made of tree under the help of 4 travellers in the Swartzwalt in Germany!
These days we go out together to watch flamenco shows at the Broadway theaters. Dating with her in the down is wonderful and sweet. But it is occasionally bitter. It would not be easy for you to imagine such a queer situation as this: An Asian man like me of small figure in his fifties dating with a German girl, tall and slender, in her twenties!
Hey, Jh;
Give me your ears a moment and listen to this poor friend of yours. These days I have my white hair dyed dark brown in her absence. What is more, I wear high-heeled slippers even in the living room to get me to match well with her in height .The lines, below, written in my diary memo would help you to guess at a moment how great her being is to me:
Thaniella!
Once you said:
"my first favority is flamenco
and the second is blackberry".
Were July full of the sweet scent of blackberries,
I would cross the Willamete over Hawthorn Bridge ,
with the fruits in my backpack to cafe Bolero,
where at night of every saturday
the Schwarzwalt girl dances flamenco.
One day she kindly whispered at my ears that when she was sick in bed, dreary and lonely, she could calm down her thirst with the blackberries I gave her. At the moment I was really moved by her sweet voice. Above all I have never forgotten the very day when, seeing me entering with a bottle of Pignot Noir in my hand, she smiled brightly and suggested, 'how would you like me dance flamenco tonight?' 'Why not.' I replied surprisedly. That night I uncorked the wine and she danced flamenco for me!
See you,
Gohk
Portland
July, 2001
Dear Jh:
Please keep it only to yourself. My wife there should be completely
kept ignorant of such a thrilling life as her husband is enjoying here.
What I have searched for in my family as a poltical scientist you know ,
is to keep it status quo, not to be in conflict . I really don't want
to break the balance of power in my home among my wife,
my aged mother aand me.
Now with my restless heart I am writing this to you .
My roommate Thani is to introduce a flamenco bailaora to me,
who studied in Jerez of Andalusia, Spain. Her name is Lau, whose
arms in the movement, she says, is fantastically enchanting.
I am waiting for the upcoming July when I can see Lau dancing.
Dani promised that she would sure do it for me before she flies
for her holiday with her younger sister to Jamaica
in the Caribbean Sea.
Strangel to say,it was simply because of my curiosity
about flamenco, in particular, baile, that I came to choose
Portland instead of LA familiar to me.
Vivid in my memory was the image of a flamanenco
performer on the stage I happened to see when I visited
this city at the first time and heard that I could often see
flamingo performances here. In fact, now and then I have had
an imagination of ‘a dancing woman with far-seeing eyes turned
toward the invisible path of a bird flying to the other world.’
Another image in my imagination is that of a blind gypsy bailaora
dancing barefooted, whom Jean Grenier was said to be enchanted
to seeat a café by the seaside.
I am enjoying a rare feeling free with some self-restraint
presented by my age of fifties which , as you know,
passed out of the tunnel of confusion in the mind
due to sexual imaginations which are likely to oppress,
awake or asleep, hot-blooded youths.
Did you happen to see the film of 'as good as it get',
in which Jack Nicholson plays?
I was moved by these 2 lines of dialogues in the film
of what the heroine said to Jack:
'Sex is not so great as we think it is ! Last night
I and he shared a wonderful feeling of fullness
that sex can never gives.'
Hi, Jh!
This morning I awake to find myself left alone,
and there vacant on the wall of the living room
where the picture by Klimpt was placed.
She left Portland a week ago.
I wish you well.
Gk
(I. Flamenco fever)
2. Korean song fits Spanish steps
During a couple of months after Thani left Portland,
almost every weekday I went to the Central Library of the city
to open my Yahoo emailbox to make on-line contacts
with Lau, the flamenco bailaora to whom Thani introduced me.
Lau and I had contacts with each other mostly through
the means of emails because it was much easier for me
to read and write than to hear it.
Portland, Aug. 2001
Hi ,Gohk:
My friend Tom Blair will be contacting you to arrange a time
to interview you for a story in the Portland Tribune newspaper.
I passed your email address to him, so you can expect to hear
from him soon. He will also arrange a time to take a photo
of you and me together!
Abrazos!!
Lau
Portland, Aug., 2001
Hello, Gohk!
Would you please tell me who is the original author
of Morning Dew? When was it written? Also, would
you please give me a short biography of yourself
for the concert program? Just a bit about you,
how you came to Portland, and
books you have written, etc. Then I need you
to come by the studio and sing Morning Dew
for me again. Here I have the Spanish version
you can listen to ! Hope all is well.
I am so nervous!
Abrazos!
Lau
Portland, Aug., 2001
Hi Lau,
On thursday 7:30 or so p.m. I will be there
at your new studio ,
with what you want to know today about me.Thinking of you dancing,
Gohk
Portland, Aug., 2001
Hi ,Gohk, I'm a writer at the Portland Tribune,
and I'm planning to do a story on "The night of Juerga,"
the Flamenco event on Saturday, September 15.
I recently spoke with my friend Lau Marrone, and she
told me that you two developed a Flamenco piece
that is based on a Korean song.
I don't recall the exact details, but I would very much
like to hear more about this and write about it.
Are you available for an interview sometime
between Tuesday and Thursday ?
It might be nice to discuss your involvement
in "The night of Juerga" over coffee or tea.
Please contact me at your earliest convenience.
Feel free to e-mail me, or call me
at 503-546-0000.
Thank you, TomFeatures Writer
Portland, Aug., 2001
Hi, Lau!I got a massage from BL that he would like tomeet me on either Tue. or Thu. and replied back soon,
saying on Thu.30 Aug preferable", and added
"being interviewed is a new thrilling challenge to me,
as an ex-editorial writer for a newspaper in Korea,
whose important job is interviewing, not being interviewed.
Unbelievable!
Gohk
Portland, Aug., 2001
Hi Gohk, Thank you very much for sending me background information
about the Flamenco story.
I look forward to meeting with you this week to discuss this
in person. Is Thursday, August 30 still a good date for you?
Please let me know what time you'd like to meet.I have a broken toe, so I'm not able to walk very far.
Would you be able to meet me downtown ?
I work very close to Pioneer Place.Sincerely, Tom
Features writer
Portland
Hello, Tom! ...........
............
It means the very Starbuck Cafe of the Pioneer Square.I will be there at 2:00 pm ,Thursday. Okay? Gohk
Portland, 2001
Hi, Gohk!
Good.
See you there,
at 2:00 pm,
Thursday.
TomFeatures Writer
Portland Tribune
Portland, 2001
Hi Gohk!
I heard from Tom, too, that the meeting was wonderful!
So glad that you enjoyed it.
Have a fun weekend and see you soon!
'P.S.'
We will have a rehearsal on Friday, September 14
in the afternoon so that you can meet the singer and
work with her on Morning Dew.
I will confirm! the time with you soon
Abrazos!
Lau
Portland, 2001
Hi, Lau
In the morning today I got a sparkle of inspiration
and could barely hold the tail of it, as below,
before it disappeared.
"Pioneer Square landscape"In the Pioneer Square Cafeby the street-side windowsits a man in his fiftieswith a large paper cup filled up
a half with Starburg coffee
and another half with time,looking through his mind's eye
at those passing by,one after one.
The first goer is a shepherd in his teenswith his ears given to the stars up in the sky,
twinkling and whispering in the darkness,
followed by a dog and dozens of lambs.
The second passer-by is a dandy in his twentiessaying to his date hand in hand
in the bold and sweet voice,'Shall we kiss?'
The third one is an aesthetically-spirited poet
in his thirties
quoting lines of an old Japanese poem:
'if man were never to fade away
like the dews of Adashino,
but lingered on forever in the world,
how things would lose their power to move us!'
The seer by the window looking at them
drinks a sip of coffee and another sip of time.
And he is greatly envious of
a Spanish matodor and bailaor in his forties
with a gift of cold eleganceentering the bull ring facing his destiny aloofto his death,
whose image appears looming up
as a mirage.
abrazosGohk
Portland, 2001
Hi ,Gohk,
Please come to rehearsal on Friday at the studio
at 2 p.m. For Saturday, I need to know which seat
you will sit in so that an usher can come and
bring you backstage after the intermission.
I hope that you are doing well
in the *aftermath of such a tradgedy
(*Sept. 11 attacks, 2001 in NY)
I am just shocked and stunned. As you know,
I was born and raised in New York City.
Un abrazo
Lau
Below is the related article on the subject of
'Korean Song fits Spanish steps ' ,carried
in a daily newspaper named Portland Tribune
2 days before the day of the flamenco performance
to be held at Dolores Winningstad Theatre located
in the downtown of the city on Sept.15, 2001.
Tom was the very reporter of the article :
'below'
Portland, Sept. 2001
Born of Southern Spain's Gypsy culture ,
flamenco dancing and music can pierce the stoniest of hearts.
The sorrowful facial expression!!!!s, theatrical body movements
and seductive guitar rhythms leave and indelible imprint
on viewers.
This saturday, Portlanders have a rare opportunity
to catch flamenco at its finest when a program called
'The night of Juergao' hits the Dolores Winningstad Theatre.
Lau Marrone , a local performer and flamenco instructor
who has trained extensively in Spain, will be joined
by Seattle- based musician Jose and Monica. Rommel Nieto,
a Vanouver ,B. C. resident who has toured Europe
as a bailaor will make his debut.
Joining the lineup of seasoned performers is Gohk Ma,
a writer from Korea. Currently staying in a downtown studio ,
the 56- year-old developed a taste for the art form
during a visit to Portland 2 years ago.
In his book ' The Magic Flute',
he describes seeing a flamenco dancer
at the 1999 Art in the Pearl festival:
How tender is the wave of her waist moving!
Fascinating!
Upon returning to Portland earlier this summer ,
Gohk pursued his interest
in flamenco by calling at Morrone's studio in Portland:
' I had a great desire to meet a flamenco dancer.'
This meeting unexpectedly blossomed
into a creative partnership between Gohk and Lau.
During his visits to Lau's studio, Gohk drew
a parallel between the sorrow of flamenco dance
and the sad tone of "Morning Dew", a protest song
about the former military dictatorship in South Korea.
He sang the song for Lau and suggested
that it be translated into Spanish and performed
during "The night of Juerga".
Though Lau couldn't understand a word of Korean,
she was moved to tears. Convinced that ‘Morning Dew’
was a good candidate for the flamenco treatment,
Lau asked Monica Carmona to translate the piece
into Spanish.
The results of this cross-cultural effort will premiere
during "The night of Juerga". At the Gohk's rendition
of the song , performed in Korean, will be followed
by a Spanish version with singing by Monica and
guitar playing by Jose .
...............
..............
Tom,
reporter,
Portland tribune
I. Flamenco fever
3. Ay! Ay! Ay!
Do you love flamenco? if so. please to listen to Manolo Caracol
singing the siguiryia , a deep song of flamenco, on movie or video.
The cantaor would begin the cante with an introductory !Ay!,
the lament with which all siguiryias begin. You would give your ears
to his heart-rending cante, sometimes wavering and meandering,
of the !Ay! held for around 40 seconds. Its sound is like the wind
through the trees, The opening of the cante is not made of words,
but it is made of sounds. The sounds just tremble telling us nothing.
After the sounds comes the verse of copla, a piece of the cantaor's
soul. Listening to his siguiriya, You would be attracted by the lines,
as below, of the song in spite of yourself:
Cuando viene el dia
mis penas s'agrandan;
so'lo las sombras de la noche oscura
consuelan mi alma
When the daylight comes
my griefs began to grow;
only the shadows of darkest night
comfort my soul.
Deriving from the seguidilla, a traditional folksong with stanzas
of four line, the siguiriya was almost always sung by a man.
Generally regarded as the most emotional type of flamenco song,
it is said to be the cry of someone afflicted by destiny.
If there is one style to which the singer has to give everything,
every bit of himself , it is the siguiriya.
Were a lover of Munc, a modern painter of expressionism
to give his sensitive ears by chance to the triste voice of
the siguiriya, what would his feeling be like?
Probably the beginning of the voice filled with the expression
of anguish and desperation,
would call back to his mind a woodcut print titled 'cry'.
by Munc, a European painter of expressionism.
Now you could come to roughly guess how did a spectator
feel listening to the song of siguiryia sung by a gypsy cantaor
on the out-door stage of flamenco performance at sunset
in Portland. He was a foreign traveler who happened to drop
in this city on his way to Seatle and Vancouver. and for him
this was the first personal contact with flamenco! There
at the end of the first half of the flamenco performance
he turned his face toward a man viewer by him and
said to him:
' Hello, A strange song, isn't it ? Ah... You seem
to really enjoy this monotonously harsh sound
of Ay! Ay! Ay' .
" Of course I love it. How would you like it?"
"To me the sound is completely unfamiliar, but not bad..."
"Oh! I am Bob living here as a carpenter. Nice to meet you",
We exchanged such words of greeting , and he introduced
to me a woman looking in her twenties on the wheel chair
at his side.
'This is Ann, my daughter.
We two live here in the downtown'
"Hi, Ann!, I am Gohk from Korea, a traveller",
I said giving a smile to Ann,
but she did not gave me a word,
"......."
"?......."
To her daughter keeping silent he said again,
"Ann, This gentleman is here to see our Pearl festival",
and turning his face toward me,
he passed a line of hint about her in a lower voice,
"Hi, Gohk , Ann remains 5 years old in mentality."
Then I lost no time in replying to Bob,
sensing the situation,
"Oh!, ........Bob. you must be a flamenco afficionado!" ,
and again whispered to her as if to a little girl,
" Hi, Ann, you love flamenco, too? '
Bob replied,
"Ya. We are flamencos. flamenco is indispensible
for both of us. As for me,
It has become a very important part of my life",
adding with his eyes toward her daughter again,
"Ann likes baile, particularly Alegrias,
kind of group dance, more buoyant and more rhythmic.
She even dances it on her wheel chair,"
"Hi, Ann, Your father said you dance alegrias well.
It is a beautiful dance?",
I said with my eyes turned to her,
and after a pause to her father,
"Today this is my first encounter with the cante siguirryia,
but strangely it seems not unfamiliar to me. Furthermore,
on listening to it, I felt tears gathering in my eyes.
As you know, I have never been present
at the flamenco performance before,
neither did I hear it sung."
"I got it. Oh, Gohk, you must be hooked by flamenco.
From now on, I am sure, you will be unable to resist
its lure any more",
he replied with a significant laughter and added,
" if you are okay , I will take you to a flamenco cafe
named Albaisin 5 minutes walk away by the riverside.
There on saturday You can see a live flamenco.
And remember 'no vino, no flamenco'!
No art without intoxication!"
" Interesting! I heard that flamenco is a traditional dance
of Spain. Is it from the gypsy culture ? is it right?",
I asked.
To this question He gave me a long explanation of it,
" Sure. It comes from Andalusian Gypsie. and at this time
flamenco mainly consists of cante( singing), baile( dancing)
and toque(guitar playing), which come to be all distinctive arts
in their own right and can stand alone,but it is not just theirs.
It now come to be universal beyond the geographical boundary.
As, you know, it is much more than just dance, just song .
That flamenco originated in the outpouring of suffering,
lamentation and protest among the gypsies and
other oppressed peoples of Spain.
So, flamenco in its awesome spontaneity is in him
who can suffer from the world and feel within him
- like the dawning - an irresistible urge to cry out."
"Oh, You are a amazing guide. Your comment helps
my eyes to see flamenco farther and wider",
I appreciated for it, and he added one more,
"Hey, Gohk. Keep this point:
when it comes to flamenco,
the cante of Caracol is best!"
Since then, I have been influenced by the invisible hand
of flamenco. You know, as mentioned before, that I must be
irresistibly signed by the invisible hand to fly to Portland,
where I was destined to meet Lau as a bailaora.
And in a sense, flamenco and lau as a bailaora have
dominated my life. It is true ,for I have been exchanging
emails with her for about 8 years. Above all things I have had
contacts with flamenco by reading books on it or seeing concerts
on Tv or video . Moreover I happened to see a drawing,
by Goya, of a blind couple singing, or another drawing,
by Gustave Dore, of Travelling flamenco musicians.
The more I read about flamenco , the more I become
unable to resist its lure.
Before I happened to hear Caracol, a canataor on video
singing flamenco songs. That dark timbre, that roughness,
that dramatic register in the voice of the Caruso of
the caves ! On hearing the cantaor ,his eyes wet, singing
the siguiriya I was reminded of the image of 'Obert church',
a painting by Van Gogh. The twisted image of it
in the painting stands alones, with the roof top
high toward the sky in cobalt blue. Particularly I have loved
this short metaphorical expression on the cante siguiriya
of gypse flamenco by Garcia Lorca, a Spainish poet:
'The infinite melody of Bach is round:
the phrase could repeat itself forever
in a circular manner; but the melody of the siguiriya
disappears into the horizontal;
It escapes through our fingers and
we see it off in the distance
like a perfect point of common hope and passion,
where the soul can never arrive'.
Jean Grenier must have heard the Siguiryia sung
somewhere in Spain. If not, how could have the writer
written an expression of such meaning below:
"There is nothing in the world, whatever it may be,
that can deliver our mind.
Neither words, actions, images, nor dreams..........
However, a cry with no verbal meaning in a moment
sets us free!"
When I flied to Portland for the second time,
who would believe me saying that a remote cry
kept alive in my mind was an irresistible call to me?
Any who would believe me saying that I was likely to be
destined to meet a bailaora and to stand with her
on the stage of her flamenco performance?
"Korean song fits Spanish steps', which is the title
of the newspaper article on the performance held
in the city, as stated before, is vivid in my memory.
Unexpectedly 5 or so years after she flied to Korea
to dance 'Morning Dew' by herself to flamenco.
And the flamenco dance was strange and exotic here
to the audience of my home town. What is more,
2 exciting things followed it one after another.
The one is that a Spanish bailaora named
Shasha flied here to my hometown in order to have
workshops on flamenco baile. The other was I flied
by myself to Spain to wander about Andalusian cities
with a yearning to feel flamenco closer.
Probably without the fateful encounter in Portland
with the cry of Ay!Ay!Ay!, Flamenco and Lau
might remain strange to me. Of course the Andaluisan
cities of Spain would remain exotic, too.
Suddenly a sparke of thinking hit me:
in our life we happen to have fateful encounters
which drive us toward a direction of life
never imagined before!
As you know, prior to my visit to Portland
about 10 years ago I was completely ignorant of it.
The art was just exotic to me. Then how comes it
that I am a true flamenco? Unbelievable.
I wonder that now through flamenco I deeply love
Lau dancing it?!
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