The grave in Su Wu Island- Toward Sunset3

The Grave in Su Wu Island

1.

On a sunny day, take a boat ride to Su Wu Island in the front sea of Dagu, a small fish village in Masan. Probably You may have an extravagant idea in your mind that you want to be buried someday later by the seaside of the island which faces the sunny and tranquil sea. It is said that every sailor passing the sea off the island comes to turn his eyes toward the coastal scenery there which is rarely beautiful and regard the seaside as a propitious site for a grave. Sure enough, there is a grave by the seaside of the island. Perhaps it would remind you of a piece of the poem,' The grave by the seaside'by Faul Valery. 실제로 작은 해안 도시 프랑스 남부 세트에는 해변의 묘지가 있다. 그리고 그 해변의 묘지에 발레리는 묻혀있다. 생명력이 넘치는 푸르고 투명한 지중해와 무수한 묘지의 풍경은 삶과 죽음의 경계를 상징하는 듯하다

It is as ffollows

".......

.......

When sunlight rests upon a profound sea,

Time's air is sparkling, dream is certainty

.....

....."

More than that, the grave has remained safe as what it used to be for more than a century, for in front of the grave stands a huge mass of blackish volcanic rocks as a kind of the strong breakwater defending it against even tremendously high waves caused by storms. By the way, in the end it has suffered heave damages two times by two big tidal waves flowing over the breakwater. It was hit 20 years ago by the first one and well remodelled .And 10 years later it was hit again heavely to be under the condition of partial destrustion.

In the grave is the old man's ancestor 6 generations back buried. For a long time to these days he has visited it every year in order to pay tribute to it. He began from his boyhood to follow his father as the oldest of the family with a group of relatives and then himself as the next eldest grandson since his father's death.

He has loved the seaside of the uninhabited island , about 10 minutes or so away by boat from the quayside a village in Masan. Compared with any other sea around Masan bay, the sea there has stayed relatively clear in water quality and there he would on rare occasions fish from a boat. When he took a boat to reach the island, he always would sorry not to get fishing equipments ready, saying to himself ," I should have come here with a simple rod to fish."

One day in Spring he has been by boat to Judo island, accompanied by Mr. Kim who has managed the grave since 1960 s, together with two 2 men especially , a local historian named Mr. Yung Ju Park and a sundry labour in order to show them the grave, for on coming May he is due to make his last farewell ritual to the grave,which ritual is to be followed by the day's main thing ,that is, to opening it to burn the bones in it to ashes.

It needed quite a few years of pains of mind for him to decide to burn the bones in it to ashes. As previously stated,10 years ago when the grave was heavily damaged again by a stronger typhoon, inevitably he had his mind to have to fix it sooner or later, as he had done so together with his late mother present there in the case of the previous damage to it . Then he has put the job off year after year.

By the way, getting more and more conscious that he would die in the near future,returning into nothing as he himself was already in the latter half of his 70s and that after him nobody could be in charge of the grave. He was confused over his responsibility. Realistically his only son living in LA was unavailable and there close relatives indifferent to the grave lived in other cities. Without him ,needless to say, the grave would be deserted in the uninhabited island ,even though the ownership of the seaside area is under his late grandfather. So he had a mind that is inclined not to repair it but inevitably to make it nonexistent as he had done so in the previous cases of for not only the grave of his grandfather but also those of his parents. Most of all ,it would be a decisive reason that he could find no one having a boat in the village who wanted to look after the grave in place of Mr. Kim. He had informed the old man that he could do the job no more.

For a while he suffered internal conflicts on which one he would take between conserving it or making it nonexistent prior to his final decision to take the latter. Frankly speaking, in the beginning he wished to keep the grave as it used to be conserved. because to him personally his love of the beautiful sea scenery there was prior to his conventional responsibility as the eldest grandson .

그리하여 며칠 전에는 그 섬에 묻힌 6대조부와의 고별의식으로 장손으로서 낭독할 제문을 전래의 격식에서 벗어난 아래의 서한으로 대치할 마음의 준비까지 해 놓았던 그이기도하다.

'아래'

 

6대 조부님!

지난 40년을 넘게 초겨울이면 해마다 몇 친척들과 함께 배를 타고 이 수우섬으로 건너 와 6대 조부님 앞에 술잔을 올렸었는데 오늘은 이게 마지막 잔이라 여겨지, 무슨 말을 어떻게 드려야할찌 그저 막막합니다. 이 날을 마지막 잔을 올리는 날로 결정하기 까지는 몇년간의 거듭된 번민과 숙고가 있었습니다. 앞으로는 병조 조부님은, 그리고 이 종손의 어머니 아버지도 지금 머무신 곳은 땅이 아니라 이 종손의 기억속이 될 것입니다. 물론 제가 이 땅에 남아있을 동안, 그래고 희망사항으로, 저 다음 세대의 기억속에 말입니다.

이제 6조부님 또한 앞으로 머물 곳은, 후대들의 발걸음을 덧없이 기다릴 이 땅이 아니라 저희들 손자들의 마음일 것입니다. 이 곳의 바위와 바다바람과 함께 저희들의 기억의 방이 안식처가 될 것입니다. 선대님들을 앞으로 머잖아 발길음이 끊어질 이 무심한 땅에 그대로 남기고 싶지 않아서 입니다.

그런 와중에 이 종손의 손으로 인곡 공원묘원의 병조 조부님을 화장하여 천주산 할머니 묘소 근처의 풀과 나무 잎으로 돌아가게 하였습니다. 가포산의 4대조부님도 그 자리의 풀과 나뭇잎으로 돌아가시게 하였고, 아버지와 어머니도천주산에서 지금은 자연의 일부가 되셨읍니다.

이제 이 종손의 나이가 세월따라 깊어져 지난 날들처럼 선대님들이 계신 곳들을 더 이상 돌볼 수 없는 처지에 이른지라 그렇게 집안의 허물어지고있는 묘소들을 형편이 닿는대로 님들의 이름을 명예롭게 그리고 온존케 해야한다는 일념에 조금씩 정리를 해 오고 있었던 중입니다. 작년에는 완월산의 6대조모님에게는 이미 작별의 인사를 드렸습니다. 조모님의 경우엔 깊은 산속의 그 묘소 자리에서 그대로 고요를 누리며 흙과 풀과 더불어 자연의 일부로 되어가고 계시니 가벼운 마음으로 길 떠나시기를!

오늘은 6대 조부님과 이렇게 마지막 고별의 인사를 올립니다. 지금까지는 술 잔 올리는 성묘로, 때로는 후손으로서 격식을 갖춘 제문을 읽으며 인사를 드렸었는데, 오늘은 이 특별한 날에 그런 관습적인 격식의 말로서는 마지막 고별의 마음을 표현할 길이 없습니다. 그래서 그냥 길 떠나는 선조님에게 손자로서의 고별의 마음을, 그리고 삶의 덧없음에 대한 체감을 개인적인 편지의 글에 담아 와 이렇게 선대님에게 마지막 잔을 올립니다. 앞으로는 이 다 허물어진 묘소가 아니라 이 손자와 ,또 운 좋으면, 다음세대의 손자들의 마음에 들어와 계실 것입니다. 안녕히 가시기를

​